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Ruins of My Life

from As Nature Intended by Joshua A F Cook

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One Easter Sunday, we saw the Dead rise from the grave in Greensboro, North Carolina. We were given the tickets to ride, and miracled in by Jett...

Afterwards, perched on the rooftop of our magic school bus, with strains of "Wharf Rat" still swirling in my lobes, I quietly took note of the whole scene and scribbled a few words about the day to day living and taking and giving of picking and grinning and loving and sinning. I loved being on the road, and so did all these people in the parking lot. But that wasn't it.

Later, in Schutesbury, I meditated on the essence of life beating through all of us, separately or together, up and down that mystical line. I'd cast my hang-ups to the shore forevermore, and tasted the spirits that poured from a distant shore. But that wasn't it either.

In the occupied cells of SSU, I pondered the darkness that had descended upon my life, and cried out in hope that a light would shine down from somewhere high above. I tasted the spirits that guided my wounded pride to the tune inside, in the Dead of the Night. But that still wasn't it.

Finally I lay the old story to down rest, and only then did the ancient spirits grant me the insight to recover what I'd really been mulling in the first place, and it took losing Mama all those months ago to get back to it: what's gonna be left of ME when I'M gone?

lyrics

Oh mama, please, I feel so sad
I lost the best friend I ever had
When she said goodbye, my heart sank low
Cuz I know, I know I gotta let her go
She left me standin' all alone in the night
But not empty handed: every note that she wrote
Was a light
When i had no sight
Of all the ruins of my life

So when it's time to ride to the sun --
When the painting's dry and being hung --
At the curtain call, when I bid you all adieu,
Well I'll leave a little souvenir or two, allelu.
I won't look back at the paths I left behind,
So don't cry for me, I move fast, in the blink of an eye,
I'll be standing high
Above the ruins of my life.

I cast my memories to the side with this lullaby
And what do I see? No more tears! No more pain! No more time!
Above the ruins of my life

credits

from As Nature Intended, released November 5, 2013
Words by Joshua Cook & Molly Taylor. Music by Joshua Cook.

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Joshua A F Cook New Orleans, Louisiana

Joshua Cook is a New Orleans based singer, songwriter, performer, and world class international troubadour.

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